Lord of the Quizzies
This is our very first attempt to report a Sue on LiveJournal, because - to the
Authors' best knowledge - an interesting topic which is quizzie!Sues hasn’t
been brought up so far.
Most of us, Brothers and Sisters in Sue-hunting, stalk our prey at the place
known as the Pit of Voles. Looking at the number of trophies it is hardly to
be wondered at. But surprisingly, if you want to hit the Sue-fiction jackpot,
better set sail for... Quizilla.com. We did and this quick inspection left us in
utter shock that we’re still recovering from. What was even more shocking, ALL,
and we DO mean ALL, of the "Highest rated quizzes" were in fact Sue-fictions.
They're made like normal quizzes, but the only difference is that they contain a
heap of text, followed by very few relatively short answers and, what's even more
annoying, it doesn't matter which answer you pick, because you always get the
same message: "Rate me, Rate me, please, okay, gotta go, I'll write part 9999 tomorrow!"....
Ladies and Gentleman - BEHOLD! The Sue-quiz-fiction....
Title: Elf kisses(a title that certainly caught the eye of severalSue-hunters... and countless Sue lovers >< )
-C-u-l-p-r-i-t- Author's Name: wiccanfey
Full Name (plus titles if any): ~~~~ (YOUR name basically... it's a You/Legolas fic)
Full Species: 3/4 elf, 1/4 human (will become source of Teh Angst in later chapters)
Hair Color: Yours... but eventually turns blond anyway.
Eyes: Yours... but eventually change colour anyway.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Rounded ears, approximately human-size (courtesy of her
human grandfather who is said to have cut them short in an outburst of rage... good
thing that he was patient enough to wait until the Sue turned eighteen, though).
Speshul Possessions: The Ring of Powe... I mean, “a beautiful ring, silver with diamond entwined by sapphires" that, according to her late mother, is to be given to her twu wuv.
Annoying Origin: The place that the author calls her head... wherever that is.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She meets Legolas in the forest and gets
shot full of arrows... nah, we only wish she did. Every canon male character’s lust object and Legolas's wuv.
Annoying Sooper Speshul Abilities: seems to regenerate faster than an Irishman's liver, which THANKFULLY shortens the "Legolas nurses the Sue back to health" part... Lucky us.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
NOTES: The author obviously hasn't read the book. We strongly doubt whether she's read any book at all. The spelling of proper names is murderous and the spelling in general is atrocious. We, therefore, aren’t going to make fun of it, it would take too much space.
( An Elven Maiden in distress, an OOC!Hero and a Random Orc On DutyCollapse )</b>
( Clever things to do with a small tentCollapse )</b>
( They’re riding to Etoras... wherever the heck that is.Collapse )</b>
( The angsty part where Faramir locks up our dear Sue to physically and verbally abuse her and provide reason to angst...Collapse )
( ... also to prove that this OOC!Legolas is a stupid idiot with an insufficient masculinity complex.Collapse ) </span>
( After lots of making out and some Sue-lusting over Aragorn Legolas proposed to her and they both headed for Mirkwood to see some weird Elvish Council and ask them if that was OK . Or something.Collapse ) Current Mood: calm